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I Really Hate When People Go Poop at Work

March 26, 2014 by Lady Unemployed


First, let’s set the scenario.

At my job they only have single toilet bathrooms. You know, it’s the type of bathroom where you walk in and you close and lock the door behind you and you have the toilet and sink and all the other bathroom stuff. So, it’s sort of like at home ¬≠ you don’t have any nearby stalls around you and it’s more like a large closet¬≠sized bathroom space.

Also, I’m on the top floor (the third floor) of my building and there is only one other women’s only bathroom in the whole building, then one unisex bathroom, and two men’s bathrooms. This is for a company of about 100 people (yes, this also means you have to time your bathroom trips very carefully and don’t wait until you have to go really bad).

Okay, I also want to mention there isn’t any vent in this bathroom. Just a tiny little air freshener on a timer.

So I walk into work and go through my usual routine of putting my lunch away, getting coffee, and going for a quick trip to the bathroom before settling into my desk.

And this morning, I walked into the bathroom and you know what?

It was warm and smelled like a fresh poop (why is it always warm and smells like poop? You rarely get cold air and poop smell at the same time).

I know I’m supposed to be a mature adult about this and silently not recognize the waft of poop smell, but I can’t help it. And seriously people, there should be a rule about this at work.

If there is already a small selection of toilets in an office building, please save the bowell movement for another time. In fact, there’s a rinky dink bookstore around the corner that has a bathroom, so polute THOSE toilets.

Also, I really hate coming out of that bathroom and hoping someone doesn’t blame ME for it (as I blamed the woman who came out when I headed into the bathroom).

So this is my public service announcement, everyone:

DON’T GO POOP AT WORK.


11 Comments »

  1. Vinny C says:

    My Office Toilet Horror Story: The nightmare job I left last year was run from a residential apartment converted to office space so it had the same kind of bathroom. It wasn’t really an issue for me because, for the most part, I was there by myself all day. There was this brief period when the maintenance crew were grounded for a few weeks while their pickup had to be repaired & one of the guys practically lived in the toilet.

    He spent so much time sitting on the “throne” he went through an entire roll daily (I’m not making this up) & of course there was the constant poop smell when he eventually emerged. He somehow even managed to dislodge it from the floor – which, in turn, loosened the plumbing. He never reported it & the rest of us only noticed because of the scent from the poop water that had started leaking out & soaking into the carpet in the hallway. It was only then he confessed that he had an “accident” a few days prior.

    I still don’t know how he was able to ride around in the pickup for 12 hours a day when it was working considering his obvious bowel issues.

  2. Lady (Un)employed – this refreshingly honest article, about workplace toilet dynamics, has cheered up my (unemployed) day. Maybe it’s time those coworkers of yours, showed more toilet etiquette by refining their diets ….perhaps by going gluten-free? Keep up the good work Lady Un(employed).

  3. Miranda says:

    Oh my goodness, yes! It should be an Emergency Only situation. A friend who shall remain nameless once argued with me that it made him feel like he was “fighting The Man” by taking dumps on the company dime and with company-purchased TP. There have got to be better ways. Don’t make all of us suffer in warm, steamy silence.

  4. Lee says:

    Seriously, what do you expect people to do? Shit themselves?

  5. Yolanda says:

    I’m so jealous of your intestinal fortitude. It is certainly one of those things that separates the winners from the losers in life.

  6. Wendy Smith says:

    Perhaps you should check out Poopourri.com. It’s not a joke; works reasonably well if used according to instructions. I got it through QVC and the website is on the back of the bottle.

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