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Jumping Off Cliffs – YIPPPYYYYY!!! – [A Funny, Inspiring Unemployment Story]

October 18, 2014 by Lady Unemployed

Like a moth drawn to the light, the cliffs have always seductively beckoned me​…   And I, just like that moth, have typically been oblivious to the “danger” the cliffs held… “Ooooohhh, what a pretty cliff’s edge!…” I’d think…  It seemed that the closer I’d get to those edges, everyone around me kept frantically saying, “Danger, Danger Will Robinson (Will was my fave out there in space, on Wednesday nights, 8 pm on NBC.  Remember?) – Turn around before it’s too late!”  Because of this I stopped talking out loud about my journeys towards the cliffs.  What I ended up discovering was that the “loudest” voice of warning has been the one in my head!  As for the one in my heart?  Well, that’s a different story…. states:



1. not employed; without a job; out of work – What a narrow minded attitude, right!?

2. not currently in use – Who says?  I’m writing this, aren’t I?

3. not productively used – Look, no one said you had to like, or consider my sitting here and writing as productive, so don’t be a hater!


4.(used with a plural verb) people who do not have jobs – Only used by those who do not understand that for We, who are Creative, it is a viable, enviable J.O.B.!  They’re just jealous!  Uh huh, they are…  Gosh… Who came up with this word in the first place?  I’ll tell you who, som – Oy, I’m bloviating and digressing… Hey, I am over 50… Just sayin’…

Interesting…. You notice how nowhere there is even the slightest insinuation that the Unemployed chose to be “unemployed”???  How come there isn’t a word for My type of people – The Choosers???  Who said that being “unemployed” meant that you have NO job?  Wanna follow Me around for a day?  You might actually have some F.U.N.

​I have only been fired once, that I noticed, due to being the highest paid salesperson, because there wasn’t enough business to warrant my costly talent.  Every other job I’ve had, I’ve chosen to leave – “I Q.U.I.T.,” (rolls off the tongue sweetly, music to my ears)…  At the beginning of my career, I left jobs because I was offered a much better, funner (is that a word?  It is now!) job, making at least $7500 more, once $20k more, plus a heftier commission, to boot…. Those were the days of prideful (loved being sought after) and misery (usually didn’t like the jobs for long)… “Sigh”…

Then the day arrived that I left a great paying job, without notice, because I j.u.s.t. could N.O.T. take it any longer – (can you tell I’m getting a total kick out of t.h.e.s.e.???)  The first job I left started a domino effect for the next dozen jobs to come.  Yep, I jumped off a whole bunch of cliffs, without a parachute, and sure as hell without a net…  The last one I left was the “come to Jesus” moment of clarity… The one where I asked myself, “Do you realize you gotta pattern go in’ on here?” – Look, at times I’m a slow learner of patterns, but I have to say, I always went happily into each job, gave my all, but when the time came, I never did anything I didn’t want to do for long – that’s when I’d quit, when it wasn’t fun anymore!

There are many of us, the technically “unemployed”, (I’m beginning to hate that word!), who are living life on our terms.  Making money to live on isn’t considered to be a standard by which “employment” is judged, at least not by me, but isn’t it the “why” most people go to work in the first place?  To earn money to be able to afford fun stuff on the weekends, to own more stuff, to be able to share stuff with others???  (you gotta check out George Carlin’s diatribe on  “Stuff” – Awesomely funny! WARNING: he cusses A LOT! – still F.U.N.N.Y. – Yo! I haven’t done t.h.e. thing in an entire paragraph, ok!)

Why is there guilt about doing what you love and getting paid for it, maybe not initially, despite all the talk, in every form of media, about “following your bliss”, “if you do what you love, it’s no W.O.R.K. (couldn’t help myself, didn’t want to either!)”, “do what you love, the money will follow”???

And why do some of us still get looks of pity when we’re asked what we “DO”, and we say something like, “I write a blog”, “I’m a life coach”, or better yet, “I’m a life coach for gerbils and write a blog about the issues gerbils have living with humans.”

Do they bother to ask if that’s really a viable form of employment, uh I meant enjoyment?  NO!  They just nod their heads, smile sympathetically, and say, “Oh, how nice,” and move away as if they could catch the insanity we appear to have!  (Which, by the way, is what happens when you’re over 50 and doing what you love… the 20-30 yr olds are looked on as “Enterprising”!!!)  Even if the gerbil blog has a million readers, and that last month you pulled in $5k in gerbil food endorsements and this month it looks like it’s going to be $7.5k, the only thing they see is that you don’t have a regular J.O.B…. They just assume you’re sitting at home in baggy workout clothes, or your underwear, watching The Housewives of Wherever, noshing on popcorn, petting your gerbil!!!  (Hey!  I can do what I want in MY house!!!  GOT it? – Actually, it’s Million Dollar Listings L.A.)

Do you consider yourself “unemployed” at the moment? (Technically you’re not, according to’s #2. not currently in use, definition…  Helloo!  You are reading this, right?) Is there something you really enjoy, something you’re really good at, something you know a lot about, practically an expert in???​  Do you bake the best brownies?  Are you a kick ass brain surgeon, even though you never went to medical school?  Well, ok, maybe you should try your next best loved thing to brain surgery, don’t ya think?  Just remember, to someone who doesn’t know anything, but wants to know something, about your beloved subject, You ARE an Expert!!!  Then, there’s the fact that the more You share, the more You learn, the more You have to Share…  See a pattern here???  I knew you would!

In addition to writing, I spend a good chunk of time reading blogs, a few about being unemployed, especially over 50, and I hate to say it, but 95% of the posts are really depressing.  Trust me, I’m not throwing stones, because I’ve been there – to the tune of having $16.56 to my name, all three credit cards maxed out at $11,000 in debt, crying all the time, wanting to crawl under a rock, or worse – if you catch my drift?  Thank God I had to move in with my Mother, because without her couch, covering my food, and some gas money, I probably would have done myself in!  So I know, yes, I know…

But I also know that once I gave up resisting the deep urges to just sit down and write, and share my writing with my family and friends via email, life became joyful, and having $16.56 to my name didn’t matter, because I when I write, I’m centered, focused, purposeful, alive…  Alive as opposed to worried about “what could happen,” that never did before, so why break a winning streak?

I know some of you are feeling hopeless.  I want to give you the gift of desiring to help yourself back into a hopeful place.  Your first assignment is to take a few hours – Oh criminey! Come on.  Be REAL, you DO have a few hours, especially if you’re “unemployed”!!! DUH! – think about what you have to share with others.  Think about “how” you can go about sharing it.  Get online and find out the “how”.  Internet get cut off?  Go to the library!  No car or money for the bus?  How bad do you want it???  You got two feet, W.A.L.K.!  Handicapped?  There are volunteer organizations that will take you to the library and bring you back home for F.R.E.E., dang blast it!  Go ahead and make another excuse, I got the answer for it!!!  I D.A.R.E you!

My point is that making excuses takes time, precious time you could be using to find your way to a new journey.  A journey that you LOVE… A journey on which you can bless those you meet and touch on the way… A journey that excludes ever even wanting, or needing, to go back to a J.O.B..  So, chop, chop!  Let’s go.  You have your life to live, people to meet, places to go!

“Congratulations!  Today is Your DAY.  You’re off to Great Places.  You’re off and away!”     Dr Seuss

Alrighty then… Your last assignment, should you choose to accept it (wasn’t that a TV show, or movie, or something???), is to watch this 5 minute video, it will make you smile, it will make you T.H.I.N.K…  Go to:

(Watch it already!  It’s read exuberantly by John Lithgow, as only he can.  I really like John.  He can be sooo funny like 3rd Rock, and soooo bad… Did you see him on Dexter???)  You won’t be sorry you took the time.  Apply the message, and “Get UP and GO!”

Standing As Love,  Alejandra Garcia ~ Yes, I AM Wildly OutSpoken!

PS   Thank you for taking the time to read my message, I hope it make you smile and think.  It would be awesome to hear from You, email me at… I adore it when You share with me, makes my day, ya know what I mean???

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