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Posts Tagged ‘Lesson Learned’

  1. I Now Feel Better About Worrying

    May 12, 2016 by Lady Unemployed

    Today I was worrying about my worrying. I feel like I worry WAY too much and I’m not entirely sure it’s all that good for me anymore.  But then I came upon this article with PureWow that talked about how worrying can actually be good for you – or at least be a sign that you are a smart person. Something like that. Anyways, you can read about it here.

    I don’t know how true this is entirely, but I’m feeling pretty good about it. So as I worry about things related to my job, or my finances, or the future, or family stuff, I’ll feel good in knowing that I’m making myself smarter in the process. Who needs to do crossword puzzles when you can worry your way to a higher IQ?

  2. Have You Ever Been Guided by Intuition

    May 30, 2015 by Lady Unemployed

    The strangest feeling came over me tonight that stopped me in my tracks. Instead of going to the grocery store, we ordered pizza. We need stuff tomorrow, of course, but tonight just didn’t feel right.

    Maybe it was the change in weather? Maybe it was the result of a feeling a bit off this week in general?

    Who knows…

    But I answered the call of intuition. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the store. I embraced my inner hermit and stayed inside all day.

    It’s not like this is the first time I’ve listened to my gut feeling. Usually when you do, at least in my experience, you don’t often get this big resounding reason why you were right to do so. But the times I haven’t listened…that’s when I realize I should have.

    It led me to wondering…when was the last time you went against your instinct? What happened? When was the last time you listened?

    For a long time I’ve talked about not looking for a new job (even though I have had reasons why I really should). It hadn’t felt right to look yet. For some unknown reason, that feeling to not look has faded and I’m looking again. I applied to two jobs this weekend. I would have applied to a third, but the idea of collecting money on past due water bills wasn’t appealing (no matter how much the pay).

    Strange experiences never are far away from me. But I do want to know….what do you think about intuition?

  3. You Don’t Always Experience the Same Work Environment

    October 8, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    When I first started the job I had now, I sat next to someone who wore headphones while she worked and made no effort to speak to me. Not to mention, the people in my department made no effort to speak to me or make conversation when I first started and they were situated on the other side of the room. I didn’t feel welcome and not too long after I started was I criticized and hammered about my mistakes. I can tell you I’m not the only one who felt this way because a guy who started a couple of months after me experienced the very same welcoming – ignoring and awful mean criticism about his mistakes.

    One year later, I’m still at this job and I’ve been able to make it work. And the funny thing is, we have a new person starting and I can see already she is experiencing a very different work environment. Already it’s her second day and she’s comfortable going up to people and showing off photos on her phone and waltzing into offices of managers and having a conversation around them. People are coming to her desk and have taken her out to lunch.

    I know a lot of how I was welcomed is partially diferences in personality. I wouldn’t have felt all that comfortable just going up to people’s desks and chatting, especially if I was new. But I can’t help but be bothered a little bit, because I wish I had experienced this type of atmosphere and welcoming.

    It makes me realize that we tend to experience different work environments. But just like an itch that won’t go away, I wonder if this new person will eventually experience what I have experienced.

    Maybe not. I do wonder how two people can experience so very different work atmospheres.

  4. Does The Daily Grind Depress Anyone Else But Me?

    September 24, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    As the days fade in and out and one blends into another, I’m beginning to realize that this daily grind deal is not for me.

    What does that mean for my future? I’m not sure and I’m not sure how to break out of it.

    Am I trying? I’m not sure about that either because I don’t know what I’m trying for. I do know that I want to be a writer and while I can’t imagine writing full time right now, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen for me in the future.

    In the meantime, I have to find some type of meaning to this daily grind otherwise the summer blues will turn into the winter blues will turn into me being restless as all get out and not being a very good worker (like now, I should be working, but I’m writing this).

    Do you find meaning in the daily grind? Have you ever managed to break free from it?

  5. Are You Telling Your Job You Want to Quit (Without Saying a Word)?

    March 15, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    It goes without saying I’m unhappy at my present job. Lately, it’s gotten worst. I feel like I’m being told about “mistakes” that aren’t really mistakes, but me doing my job.  As in, I’m doing things that I’m suddenly not allowed to do, and I’m being told by people who never had a problem with me before.

    Not to mention, I’ve gotten in trouble recently, and I have a suspicion about which people (i.e. my difficult coworker) are involved.


    The funny thing is I am ready to go. My mom commented to me recently, “You know, you aren’t having an easy time at this job, but you don’t act stressed.”  And my mom is right. I’m not stressed. Sure, I rant on here, but this is mostly virtual therapy for me.

    Finally this morning, I figured out why.

    It’s because I’m not willing to fight for this job.  And oddly, now I have even better reason not to.

    Ladies and gentleman, I have two interviews next week – for two different jobs. The odds are in my favor that yes, I am getting out of this job.

    Celebrations of Light Finale 2007

    Mini Celebration About My Interviews

    But I had a thought…

    …is it possible to give off signals to your employer that you are ready to quit, before you even quit?

    I did a little research and apparently there are signs you may be giving off that shows you are getting ready (or really really want) to leave.

    1) You’re making mistakes.

    Since I started, I’ve been told about the earth shattering mistakes I’ve been making, so it’s not a new thing for me to hear about mistakes. But maybe I’m making more than usual because I’m mentally already gone. Or maybe my coworkers are assh*les?

    Either way, be wary of the mistakes you are making, because according to, you may be giving off signals to your coworkers that you are losing your focus on your job.

    2) Coming in late/leaving early.

    I don’t leave early, but I admittedly come in late on occasion. Recently, though, it’s been a lot more common. Apparently, this is a sign that you are either preparing to leave or want to leave. Not to mention, I’m fully aware this is a problem for a lot of employers and could get me fired by coming in late all the time. So, I know, fix it up Lady (Un)Employed.

    3) You get the Sunday night blues/depression.

    This happens to me really regularly. In fact, I have a heavy feeling of dread at around 9:00 pm Sunday, and even earlier if my week before has been really bad. In fact, Monday through Thursday, I pretty much wake up each morning with a sick dread feeling.  While I know every job has its problems, I want to wake up in the morning without that feeling. Which may or may not have something do with problem # 2  I mentioned before.

    But if you feel dread when you go in, each day every day you have to work, you may have a problem on your hands.

    4) You start taking away personal items.

    Okay, I haven’t done this at my present job (yet), but I have been at a job before, where things were going really, really badly and I started to prepare myself by taking home some of my personal items. Well, if that sounds like what you’ve done, you may try to leave a personal photograph or two, otherwise you’re telling your boss that you don’t plan on staying long.

    5) You’ve added (a lot) new LinkedIn contacts.

    Okay, in my defense, I’ve only added new LinkedIn contacts because I’m trying to help my brother (and my mom actually) find work. I figure if I can get a job lead or two via a direct contact, I’d send it their way. But if you happen to be connected to a coworker (like I am), be careful about who (and how many) you connect to, because you may be telling them, you are getting ready to leave.

    Although, I will admit that I reason this all out by telling myself that the coworker I’m connected to, never seems to show recent activity on LinkedIn anyways.

    So, if you are unhappy at your job and you’ve already taken steps to try and get out of that job, make sure you cover your ass, because that last thing you want is to get fired before you can quit.

    Have you ever given signals that you want to leave your job? What were they? 

  6. Can You (Or Should You) Trust Your Coworkers?

    January 23, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    It’s funny. Last week my company held a meeting about the importance of trust within a department.

    I clearly struggled to avoid rolling my eyes during this meeting. These days I wouldn’t trust my coworkers to spit on me if I caught on fire.

    But I asked myself…have I ever trusted coworkers? What does trust mean?

    I do trust my family. I trust that they will not purposely hurt me. That if they do hurt my feelings, that it was not intentional. That they would not want to purposely hurt me, embarrass, humiliate, undermine me. That I can trust them with my wishes, dreams, feelings. To me, that is trust.

    There is no amount of money in this Universe to have me feel that type of trust for my coworkers.

    But do I trust them at all? Maybe in some ways. I trust that they won’t throw tomatoes when I walk in the door. That I won’t get stabbed in the break room by a difficult coworker. That they won’t push me to the floor when I walk around.

    Those things I trust.

    I trust they will also talk behind my back, undermine, sneak, and cut me down. I trust that mistakes will be overblown and no one will have each others back.

    But is there any other way to feel? Maybe. I just don’t think I’ve found it yet.

    How about you? Do you trust your coworkers? Have you ever?

  7. Learn to Choose Your Battles at Work

    January 16, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    This lesson is a tough one for me.

    I struggle with being a people pleaser, so whenever I ignore a wrongdoing (even if it is just me believing it), I feel like that is one step backwards away from my personal growth. Yet, this struggle is why I can be (between you and me) a bit difficult to work with at times.


    Yesterday at work there was an instance where I felt certain that I was getting blamed for a mistake I know I didn’t do. It was only partially my fault, at least. The other person just never responded to me (I do feel I needed to follow through but didn’t). Yet, the other person who never responded was the one who pointed fingers. Worse yet, I was told my “mistake” by my difficult coworker. So I had no chance of explaining my perception and what happened to anyone who was actually involved. Worse is the fact the person who was involved, was out that day I was told.

    So what do I do?

    If I ignore it, I feel like that is giving them permission to continue blaming me for their mistakes and for them to make mine an even bigger deal, as a result. If I say something, now that a day has gone by, it’s suddenly an issue. It’s become more than a mistake, because I’m suddenly a difficult person who won’t accept it when they’ve done wrong.

    So I’ve chosen my battle. I will let it go. It isn’t my favorite thing to do, but…I think choosing your battles at work is the key to maintaining your sanity.

    What do you think? How do you know which battles to take on?

  8. Should We Stay at a Job that Makes us Unhappy?

    January 10, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

    I know that in this economy, you are lucky to have anything. That we should take anything, including taking grief at work no matter what, because few people will have sympathy for you if you just leave.

    But is that the healthiest thing to do? Should we stick it out whether or not we are unhappy? Is that any way to live our lives?

    This question was rolling around in my brain as I was thinking about my own situation. So much time can go by without anything changing and unhappiness setting in like a heavy weight.

    I know, I know. Look for a job while you have one. But it isn’t that easy. We get complacent. We get used to routine and as miserable as we are, it feels safe and comforting knowing we haven’t rocked the boat and we have met our expectations.

    What do you think? Stick it out? Take a risk and try to get out of the grind?

  9. Getting Ahead At Work – Kind of Like Merging Into Bad Traffic

    December 6, 2012 by Lady Unemployed

    You know that moment when you are trying to merge onto a major thoroughfare and it is really, really bad traffic? And it’s almost impossible to get in between any of the cars and they are just backed up together, refusing to let you in or ahead?

    Work is a little like that. You have to really fight to merge into the lane of success (corny metaphor, I know, but it was calling for that).

    I realized that today when my difficult coworker (her nick name is a work in progress) – stayed home for the third day in a row.

    To give you some background, usually she sends out an email every morning with an update of what me and the other data entry paper pushers should get done or any reminders.

    Well that didn’t get sent today, because Miss Difficult didn’t work from home today as she had been doing the other two days.

    And guess who took advantage?
    You guessed it!

    Right after I realized this, I sent out my own email to my fellow data peeps and distributed Miss Difficult’s usually daily data entry work to the three of us. I let Miss Difficult and this other semi- supervisor that I did this and guess what I was told by the semi-supervisor:

    “Wow, Lady Employed, thank you for taking the lead on that.”

    Music to my ears.

    This is the first time since being at this job that I found a way to get ahead and take charge. This just doesn’t happen often enough for me. And today I realized that getting ahead is a lot like merging into bad traffic. The nice people just can’t get in edge wise and if you are overly polite and worry about other people getting mad, you are never going to get in. Instead, you have to edge yourself into the highway and shove yourself in. The same thing applies at work and it’s the only way you can get ahead at work.

    Find those opportunities where there is a weakness – and address it/fix it/better it.

    What is your advice for getting ahead at worK?

  10. Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease? Or Are You Being Ignored for a Reason?

    December 5, 2012 by Lady Unemployed

    Whether it’s a job, a love interest, or any opportunity of some kind, we want to have it and we want it now. And I know I’ve always heard the philosphy, “Squeaky wheel gets the grease.” This is usually the motto I go by when I’m pursuing something (or someone).

    But there comes a point where the wheel starts to squeak just too damn much and it becomes easier to replace the whole thing and get rid of it.

    While I’ve already learned the hard way with the opposite sex that it isn’t always good to be so aggressive, I’m beginning to wonder if the same policy can apply to work scenarios.
    At least, that’s what I’ve wondered lately.

    You see, when I first started my new job in August, I was told that I would be learning additional job duties that would put me into a higher career path. But so far since starting, I have only done data entry. Not exactly the bill of goods I thought I was being sold.
    I followed my own philosphy though and I have regularly asked my supervisor about the training opportunities and expressed my enthusiasm. Yet, today it hit me – am I being ignored for a reason?

    Really, I can’t help, but wonder this. I only hear remarks along the lines of, “We need to get the other new people settled first,” or “I’m communicating with so-and-so about the training this week and I’ll let you know.” I keep getting the brush off and this gives me pause.

    It’s never good to be a passive individual and it’s always good to show and express interest, but just like I’ve learned with guys, if you are the only one sending out signals of interest, is it time to prepare yourself for rejection?

    What do you think? Is the philosphy, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease,” only good up to a point?