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Work Coffee and The Austin Powers Penis Pump

January 5, 2013 by Lady Unemployed

Yes, the two relate. Just stick with me.

I have been wondering about why work coffee tastes so bad. It’s always tasted awful. No matter what job I have worked at.

My first job out of high school didn’t really have a coffee machine. It was one of those instant coffee makers that give you heartburn, gas, and indigestion.

My second company had a coffee maker, but they made Folgers. FOLGERS. I can’t drink that stuff. I just can’t.

The next company I worked at was my college (I had a mentor job). And there wasn’t really a coffee machine, so I just bought mine all the time.

Then, my job that inspired this blog, did have a coffee machine, and even had name brand coffee…still awful.

Finally, I asked a coworker (male) about this and he explained, “This is why I bring my own personal French Press to work. It makes the best coffee. Although it reminds me of the penis pump from Austin Powers.”


And now at work, I am aware of what it would take for me to make the good coffee thanks to that conversation. Yet, if there ever was a chance for me to enjoy the good French Press coffee at work, it’s ruined now. Because all I would be thinking about was the fact that I was bringing in something that looked like a penis pump.


It’s grown especially awkward because about three or four women I work with have these individual penis pumps French Press coffee makers. I am dying to say something or at least joke about what I was told, but I figured it would be a horrible idea.

Which is why I blogged about it.

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2 Comments »

  1. Ech says:

    HAHAHAHA! I never thought about them like that, but now I’ll never look at another French press the same way.

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