People meet you and want to greet you not for you but because of your designated seat in the office. I was a fool in love and a topper among my classmates. I graduate and started working as a Teacher’s Assistant just to see my boyfriend. Wrong Choice.
I started working as a primary sector when i should be in a corporate sector just for the sake of my boyfriend. Wrong Choice. He broke up with me that year and i realized i ruined my personal and professional life. People who used to be friends with me were all gone because now they didn’t need for notes, but have a better position in a corporate sector. I came to know about the real meaning of friends for life then. I didn’t lose hope and secured myself a job as a HR Executive in a research firm. I was so happy then, but later my friend wanted me to set her up with her crush so she manipulated me to work for that guy and he turned out to be another wrong choice. My status turned to be an Unemployed.
I again secured myself a HR Executive position in a software house where I got to learn that you have to be a slut to move further in your career rather than being a good employee. A slut who wanted my job slept with that boss and I got terminated for a fake reason. The boss was an asshole. He was rude, arrogant bastard who lied about me to the whole office and made me design all the HR processes and polices and kicked me out of the office and gave my position to the slut who knows nothing about HR. I regret leaving an amazing internship for this stupid job. Wrong choice.
Well, my status was unemployed again. Being in an Asian family means if you don’t have a job then get married. My love life is also full of wrong choices as my professional life. Then my same friend told me to work in her office. I was again happy to have job but later I got to know that she wants me to work as her assistant with no pay or offer letter and become a liability for the firm to hire me. Hmm… that turned out to be an interesting scenario. Later she turned down that opportunity because her arrogance come in the way when i said i don’t want to work this way. Pretty twisted!
For making things worse, my family is forcing me to marry a random guy they seem fit for me. I know my choice in guys sucks, but who wants to marry a random guy. I wake up at noon and sit all day watching terrible shows on T.V making myself numb to think about my professional and personal life. I have given so many interviews in almost every organization but I don’t know where I am going wrong cause I am not able to secure myself a single job in this 6 months time period. Even the guy i liked broke up with me. WOW!!
So, currently,
- No boyfriend
- No friends
- No self confidence
- Being forced to get married
- Do nothing and stay in my room all day
- Gained 5 kgs and became fat and ugly
- Too broke to get into gym
- depression made me too lazy to do something about my life
- I owe a lot of money to a lot of people
- I don’t have a single penny in my bank accounts
But, i motivate myself everyday to workout and focus on myself in this time of despair and depression. Keeps myself positive during the day and cry at night. This has effected my self confidence, self respect and sanity in a lot of ways. I don’t know what to say in the end because life sucks. So read my blog, i write really good.
https://lifeofahopelessoptimist.wordpress.com
Mariyum